Chapter 6 – The Johnsons
Once they were back on board Rocketship X-13, Captain Dick Rod was met by a very excited robot.
“Captain! Captain!” Tin shouted robotically. “I…Have…Something to show…You!”
“Yes, what is it?” Dick said, unenthusiastically. “Jacko, get our guests situated in their quarters and make sure the woman is in sickbay.” He then followed the slow robot down the corridor. “Where are we going, Tin?”
“Engine…Room,” Tin said.
The door to the engine room whooshed as it opened and to Dick’s surprise, he saw many people, getting a lot done. The people, were only two and half feet tall and they all looked like Captain Dick Rod.
“What the heck?” Dick gasped. “Where did these come from?”
“Why are they so little?”
“They don’t have…to be full sized…it’s actually…uneconomical…for men…to be…full sized…on X-13.”
“Also…this size…makes revolt…less inevitable.”
“This is fantastic, Tin!” Dick ejaculated. “But, I would like to see more Jacko in here, too, since he actually knows how to fix most of the stuff in here.”
“Already…on it…” Tin replied.
“Good. Now, I need you in sickbay to take a look at the woman. She if she’s all right…”
Before he could finish his thought, loud shouts from the aliens echoed down the halls. Blaster fire could be heard. Dick ran down as quickly as he could and he found all of the aliens that they saved from the derelict vessel, dead on the floor, with giant smoking holes between their legs.
“Jacko!” Dick shouted. “Where are you?”
Jacko stumbled out of the human waste extractor, pulling his overalls up, tripping and falling onto the ground. “I’m right here! What happened?”
“I told you to keep an eye on her!”
“I needed to go to the can! I laid her on the table, just like you asked, but sometimes, you just can’t hold it…sir.”
Dick nodded. “It’s okay, Jacko.” He looked at the carnage around him. “We need to figure out what in Jumping Jehoshaphat happened here.” He looked through the hatchway into sickbay and saw their patient. “Is she still alseep?”
“I…will… run…vitals…” Tin said, then slowly moved into sickbay.
“What do you think happened here, Jacko?” Dick asked.
“It looks like… wait a minute! All their Johnson’s have been blown off!”
Dick chuckled. “Penises, Jacko. Their penises.”
“Wait another minute!” Jacko said, “Do we know if these aliens even have Johnsons?”
“Penises, Jacko. Penises,” Dick cleared his throat. “I don’t see why they wouldn’t. They speak the same language as us, so logically, they should have the same reproductive organs as well.”
“That sounds solid, Captain. I can’t imagine living in a universe where other beings didn’t have the same junk as us!”
The captain tapped his finger on his lips. “We are missing something. Something very important.”
“Yeah? What’s that?”
“Why? Why would they blow each other’s penises…clean off?”
“There has to be an answer!”
Then, a voice, a soft voice, chimed in behind him. “I have an answer for you.” They turned and saw the beautiful woman, still nude, sitting up on the sickbay table. “I can explain everything.”